Expressions of the Spirit

Gremlins are making me crazy!

Last week I made two new journals - from scratch...painted papers, nice hard covers, elaborate stitching on the spines. Now I can't find them. I swear there are gremlins in my office who take things while I'm asleep. I think of these little guys like the shoemakers elves who come out at night to make shoes - only my elves don't have any shoes to make so they torment me by moving my stuff.  Okay - I get it, I could be more organized.

I am in a constant battle with myself to keep my desk and studio space clean. When I'm in full creative motion I focus without stop on the project at hand. Whether writing or art I give the project complete attention. I take out a dozen bottles of paint, four brushes, a shoe box full of paper scraps and a crate of old magazines. I've learned to cut over the waste basket so I don't have to pick up tiny snippets of paper. I always wash my brushes. But I do have a tendency to just stop at the end of the day without a plan for tomorrow. Usually I'm interrupted by some household urgency (like a husband who needs feeding) or a community meeting of some importance.

Keeping my writing organized is a bit easier. My computer is the world's best filing cabinet so long as I can remember what I named the file and which folder I put it in. I try to be logical yet some of my documents escape. I don't know where they go and can't figure out why. Maybe I have computer gremlins as well.

I have tried all kinds of personal management techniques - even went to the expense of hiring an office organizer to help me sort out my mess. She had great ideas - convinced me that I needed a bigger space to work effectively. So I moved downstairs to the old guest room, put in a bank of industrial shelving. Now I have everything off the floor but I'm still not sure what's in all the boxes. The cosmic law of organization has me in its force field:  my stuff has expanded to fill the space available!

I can write all day about letting go - and have done that many times. I can give myself hints to put folders away and tidy up - all to no avail. My approach now is not to sweat the small stuff. As a creative person, if I made something once, I can make something else - or the same thing again. I don't need a filebox full of old projects. Now I'm learning to let go of the angst over not finding what I want in the moment. The strange thing about this new approach is that when I begin creating anew, the thing I lost usually surfaces! I guess those gremlins don't like it when I give in and let them have what they stole.

What are your organizational habits? What do you do to control the material things in your life?

Do you have a space of your own? How is it arranged?

Is there are right way to work?

Take some time today to survey your work space. Let go of the things you don't need - or let go of your need to be organized! Either way - you'll be happy.

Guess I'll be making some new journals this afternoon.

Childhood Activities and Destiny

Every Sunday I look forward to the newspaper. After reading the front page and checking the police blotter to be sure no fiends are lurking in my neighborhood, I turn to the LifeStyle section and find the comics. My local paper resized the comics recently so I don't read them all--the print is too small--but I never miss my favorites: Dilbert and Baby Blues.  Dilbert reminds me of my corporate days and the absurdity of management.  Baby Blues reminds me of the twenty years I invested in raising my children and the equal amount of absurdity that accompanies parenthood. Philosophical gems and wisdom often hide among the ridiculous antics described in both comics.

In today's comic, Wanda (the mom) is reading the week's list of activities for her young son, Hammie. Darrel, the father, dares to suggest that perhaps Hammie is overscheduled. Wanda looks at her husband, a man who goes to work everyday and doesn't fully comprehend the rigors of the stay-at-home-mom life, and sighs. Sometimes she, too, thinks Hammie is overscheduled, and then she remembers that "he likes to take things apart with power tools in his spare time." I laughed out loud at this remembering my mother's warning not to leave my nephew alone while babysitting him because he liked to take things apart. This nephew is now a graduate in Engineering Physics and in charge of building equipment for the laboratories at the University of Oregon.

The memory got me to thinking how much our early childhood behavior might be an indicator of adult interests. Maybe what we want to be when we grow up is already determined. My own son demonstrated his need for speed at a early age. He never seemed to walk but ran everywhere. He liked to find the longest highest hill to ride in his little red wagon. Today he is an instructor at the Bridgestone "Fastest Ride on Ice" winter driving school and looking for a sponsor so he can get back into the driver's seat of a race car.

As for myself, I spent my time with my nose in a book. I would rather read than do anything else. After a dozen part-time jobs and sundry careers I find myself back where I began - nose in books.... reading.... writing.... and playing with words.

What were your childhood passions? How did they influence the person you have become?  What do you do today that is similar to what you did as a child?  How is your life different?

Write a story about your childhood activities. Where were you? Who participated in your activities? Did you do them alone?

Childhood is our proving ground, the place where we test our abilities, interests and boundaries. Discovering what we liked then can inspire ideas about how to bring balance into our adult lives. Have a little fun today - let your childlike self out to play.

Falling Out

Just when I resolved to keep current with my blog I fell down the stairs. The result: a broken hip, a week in the hospital to recover from hip replacement surgery, and two months of disconnect as I healed and learned to walk again.

Now it's September already - time to tie up the loose ends before winter. Yesterday I received an email from another coach friend of mine who likes to start her new year's resolutions in September instead of January. That way she feels she'll move into the new year with a feeling of accomplishment and less stress.

I'm going to take Jane's advice and start my new year now and commit to regular updates, more connection with friends and colleagues - and better attention to the way I move through life.  No more Falling Out of integrity with myself, my work, and my lifestyle.

Here's to a Happy New Year for you, too!

Life Balance, Time Management and the tightrope walker

Last weekend I made a quick turnaround trip to Denver. My companion for the 6 hour drive was audio book Eat That Frog: 21 Techniques to Stop Procrastinating by  Brian Tracy. The title refers to a comment made by Mark Twain that if people learned to eat a frog first thing in the morning, then everything else would be easy. After living in France for a few years I've discovered that frogs are actually very tasty - but I'm sure Twain and Tracy are not talking about skinned frog legs sauteed in garlic butter. If I had to eat a frog spots, skin and all, well... maybe I wouldn't be so eager.

Two points I found interesting in Tracy's time management techniques are these:

Do the things FIRST that you hate or fear (but still need to do), that way everything that follows will be easier. (As Mark Twain says - eat that frog first thing in the morning...) I tried this over the weekend and it definitely improved my productivity.

Secondly - think of life balance the way a tightrope walker thinks of balance...that is, ALL the time! 

In my experience as a life coach - too many people try to separate life into compartments:  career, family, health, etc. The truth is these all exist together in the process of life. One area can't be put on hold for long without affecting another area. Holding the idea of balance at every moment of the day will help us maintain balance.

For example: if I want to stay healthy - then it's important that I think about health when I'm working, driving the car, shopping for groceries. Balance exists in attention to details throughout the day. So to maintain health at work I will pay attention to my posture, my office arrangment. I will take breaks regularly, use the stairs instead of the elevator, remember to breathe deeply and smile (especially when making phone calls and dealing with difficult people). I can consider ways to include healthful activities such as a walk at lunchtime, or desk yoga (really - there are books on this!)

Waiting until the end of the day or until we have 'time' to workout will not provide the balance we seek throughout the day.

So if you want to lead a balanced life make a list of the top three things that matter in your life (Tracy says do it in 3 seconds or less!) Then start devising activities that support what matters most to you.

Where the bloody hell are you?

I liked the tone of this magazine ad for vacations to Australia so I tore it out of the magazine and used it to creat my latest journal cover. I like making my own collage journal covers. The words or images that speak to me as I assemble materials help set the tone for the next month's investigation. I use the black and white speckled composition books so familiar to students around the globe. I prefer the thin line college rule to the wide rule available at most office supply stores so I order my composition books by the case from Quill online.

This month's cover is a reminder to stop now and then to assess my life position. Sometimes I get so scattered I feel I'm working on 1000 projects at once --and doing none of them really well. So where the bloody hell am I this month?  I intend to find out!

Journal entry from this week's Expressions of the Spirit Writing Prompt

What was it like to make art as a child?

    Making art was fun. Smearing paint on waxy paper....This is the only time I can remember when it was okay to be messy; messy was expected.

And then I remember how I was supposed to 'make' something with my finger paints--a pretty picture, a feathery pattern, some concentric swirls that looked regular and shapely--not just create a smeary mess of brown because I mixed all the colors. I loved the tactile process, the sensation of smearing and I hear again the distant voice of my mother: "What is it?" "Try it this way." "Try to make something."

Too often we're pushed into other people's ideas of learning. Making art representational was essential for my mother. She wanted me to be 'good' at it. She didn't give me permission to be good just doing what I was doing.

Such early base patterning carries forward into our adult lives and some of us  give up the idea of play for the sake of playing. Now as adults we're caught in the frame of 'doing' - doing it bigger, doing it better, doing it right.

Today, give yourself the gift of playfulness. Buy a box of crayons and draw!

Entering the New Year - 2009

After living for several years in the Far East, it seems that Chinese New Year is a better time for me to get started than the western calendar date of Jan 1. So many things happen at the end of a traditional calendar year that it takes me a few weeks to tidy all the loose ends and get back to business. I love all the holiday parties and decorations, the visits from family and friends but putting everything away until next year consumes the first week of the New Year. Now that I have had a chance to catch my breath, make some goals and set some intentions for the New Year, I feel ready to move forward.

Last year was a year for travel. I remember setting the intention to 'take my show on the road'. Unfortunately I wasn't specific enough about the kind of show! Instead of a year of national presentations, I had a year of supporting others. I helped my kids each move to new accomodations (one of them moved twice!); I travelled with my husband while he was abroad on business- something I haven't done for almost fifteen years. I went to Thermopolis Wyoming to help a dear and elderly family friend recover from a nasty fall down the stairs. (Sadly, I spent the Christmas holiday back in Thermopolis to attend to details surrounding her death and the closing of her house.) In between family and personal committments I found time to lead some great workshops, begin writing my own 'how-to' book, and continue writing and facilitating poetry (the job I love the most).

Throughout the year I found learning. Today, as I reflect on the past year, I am able to connect to that learning and find ways to integrate the life lessons for myself and for the benefit of others. I'm a firm believer in learning from other people's mistakes! This year I'm committed to sharing more of my life experience in the service of others. I hope you will all join me in  my continued exploration of life, self, and commitment to authentic living.

Happy New Year to all - may you find what you are seeking in the easiest and simplest way possible.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Listening is an act of love

Last week my daughter and I were discussing our separate experiences with the Landmark Forum training which she recently completed. The important piece of learning we were discussing is the art of listening, an art that is quickly eroding in this era of text messaging and faceless communication. People leave messages for each other but rarely take time to listen to a response. As my daughter pointed out, in most two-way conversations, while one person is talking, the other is just waiting their turn to speak. Listening is not taking place while we are formulating a reply.

This week, National Public Radio in conjunction with StoryCorps is promoting November 28th as a National Day of Listening. You can find out more about StoryCorps at their website www.nationaldayoflistening.org The intention is to bring people together to listen heartfully to each other's stories. Thanksgiving is a perfect time since many families are already gathered for the holiday.

In a time when the nation, and the world in general, are suffering from lack of connection and community, it is useful to sit with each other and pay attention to stories. We can learn from each other, enjoy laughter, share challenges, find solutions, opportunity and hope through understanding the various experiences that add perspective to daily life.

This Friday won't you join me in listening to someone fully. It can be a relative, a friend, or even a stranger. Open yourself to really hear another person's story. Ask someone to tell you what they are most proud of doing in their life or what important piece of learning they would like to share. Don't be afraid to ask them how it makes them feel. Lean in, get close to someone. I assure you, you'll feel happy and more connected when you do.

Visit www.storycorps.net to find out more about the StoryCorps Listening project and hear some stories from people across the nation.

Be Prepared to Stop

Last week as I was leaving a private session with my photography instructor I found myself in a long string of traffic waiting to bypass a new construction zone. On my right a large orange road signed warned: "Be Prepared to Stop." With so many interruptions in my life recently, the sign was decidedly apropos. The problem for me, however, is that I'm not ready to stop. I want to be on a roll. Once I have decided on a direction, I want to proceed full speed ahead, no turning back. Sometimes life gets in the way. What can we do when other people's legitimate needs take priority? I think it's good to have a plan--to 'be prepared to stop'.

I have never given much thought to dealing with interruptions. I guess I have just assumed that there would be none. This naive approach often leaves me irritated and feeling rushed. One sure remedy for handling emergencies is to be certain the interruption really is an emergency. Can whoever or whatever is now demanding attention wait another five or fifteen minutes? Can they wait a day? Prioritizing events is an art form. Too many people call everything they need and want "urgent". In reality, only life-threatening events are really urgent. Everything else in life is 'nice to have.' It  helps to determine 'nice' for whom.

Another factor contributing to a sense of overwhelm is overscheduling. When every minute of every day is booked, there isn't any room for emergent situations. Interruptions are worse than annoying, they add stress and impact productivity. People in general tend to overestimate the amount of work they can do in a day. And once they have overcommitted, they tend to lose focus and fritter away a large portion of their time. Better to make a small plan and stick to it than to make a too large plan and feel rushed to complete everything. With a relaxed schedule, when something does happen that requires your attention (like the dog has just tangled with the neighborhood porcupine) you will be able to handle the emergency. If no emergency arises, think of all the wonderful things you can do with the extra time! Paint your toenails, weed the garden, walk in the sunshine, enjoy an afternoon cocktail with friends. More time in your schedule means good time for you. You'll have time to do all the things you want to accomplish and still 'Be Prepared to Stop."

You don't have to get it right the first time

I've been cleaning my desk today - something I could do more regularly judging from the accumulated assortment of bits and pieces that obliterate the wooden desktop. I came across an interesting quote jotted on a scrap of paper:

"The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon...."    by Robert Cormier

 I don't know who Cormier is or were I found this brilliant gem of insight but I like it. First of all, it helps me with my writing practice. Knowing that I can go back later to edit and polish relieves me of the burden of having to be perfect all the time. I can let myself write freely, musing on whatever thoughts are rummaging around in my head. But I think the quote has even deeper implications for living life.

Rarely do people consider that making mistakes is a natural part of experience. Too often we criticize ourselves for poor judgment and inexcusable errors. Certainly some mistakes can have dire results as in the case of the forementioned brain surgeon. For the most part, though, our errors are not life-threatening nor do they carry enormous planetary implication. When we choose to look at mistakes as learning, errors becoming opportunities. That's experience! We try something, if it works we do it again. If it doesn't, we change, adjust our process or do something else.

How restrictive to think everything must be done correctly the first time. This all or nothing approach would certainly stifle my creativity. I could imagine never wanting to try something new. Fear of failure is a massive obstacle to action. So I think I'll tack this little scrap of paper on the bulletin board above my desk to remind me that even in life, the beautiful part is that I don't have to get it right the first time.

Are you proud of something you have done in your life?  Write about the things you 'got right'.

What things have not worked in your life? Write about a time when something went wrong and how you fixed it or moved on. What was the learning for you?

Describe a time when you were afraid but went on anyway. How did it feel to begin? How did it feel during and after the task.

Write a character sketch of perfection or try a dialogue with Mistakes.