Expressions of the Spirit

Gremlins are making me crazy!

Last week I made two new journals - from scratch...painted papers, nice hard covers, elaborate stitching on the spines. Now I can't find them. I swear there are gremlins in my office who take things while I'm asleep. I think of these little guys like the shoemakers elves who come out at night to make shoes - only my elves don't have any shoes to make so they torment me by moving my stuff.  Okay - I get it, I could be more organized.

I am in a constant battle with myself to keep my desk and studio space clean. When I'm in full creative motion I focus without stop on the project at hand. Whether writing or art I give the project complete attention. I take out a dozen bottles of paint, four brushes, a shoe box full of paper scraps and a crate of old magazines. I've learned to cut over the waste basket so I don't have to pick up tiny snippets of paper. I always wash my brushes. But I do have a tendency to just stop at the end of the day without a plan for tomorrow. Usually I'm interrupted by some household urgency (like a husband who needs feeding) or a community meeting of some importance.

Keeping my writing organized is a bit easier. My computer is the world's best filing cabinet so long as I can remember what I named the file and which folder I put it in. I try to be logical yet some of my documents escape. I don't know where they go and can't figure out why. Maybe I have computer gremlins as well.

I have tried all kinds of personal management techniques - even went to the expense of hiring an office organizer to help me sort out my mess. She had great ideas - convinced me that I needed a bigger space to work effectively. So I moved downstairs to the old guest room, put in a bank of industrial shelving. Now I have everything off the floor but I'm still not sure what's in all the boxes. The cosmic law of organization has me in its force field:  my stuff has expanded to fill the space available!

I can write all day about letting go - and have done that many times. I can give myself hints to put folders away and tidy up - all to no avail. My approach now is not to sweat the small stuff. As a creative person, if I made something once, I can make something else - or the same thing again. I don't need a filebox full of old projects. Now I'm learning to let go of the angst over not finding what I want in the moment. The strange thing about this new approach is that when I begin creating anew, the thing I lost usually surfaces! I guess those gremlins don't like it when I give in and let them have what they stole.

What are your organizational habits? What do you do to control the material things in your life?

Do you have a space of your own? How is it arranged?

Is there are right way to work?

Take some time today to survey your work space. Let go of the things you don't need - or let go of your need to be organized! Either way - you'll be happy.

Guess I'll be making some new journals this afternoon.

Books Books Books

My turn to lead the Loser's Book club this month...And I picked some winners!

 Author Lori Lansens trio of books was a hit with all but one reader. While each book is different, they all deal with women's issues through the eyes of strong female characters. The Wife's Tale is a story of a woman leaving an old way of life behind ad recreating herself in a new country, a new place. Rush Home Road also features a central character, this time an aging black woman, who takes in a stray, unloved and undisciplined child. The interactions between child and aging adult spark memories of the difficult path that growing up can be. The Girls is an unusual tale of conjoined twins told in an informal memoir style. One twin is a writer and wants to complete her autobiography before she dies; the other twin couldn't be less interested in writing and yet - because they are joined, Rose's autobiography is also Ruby's... and then again it's not. This one was my favorite of the three (although they are all very well written and worth reading).

 Lansens is also a screenwriter and actor and brings a special knack for storytelling to her novels. She exhibits an extraordinary empathetic sense in the details of each character's life. She describes human feelings and events so realistically I didn't want to stop reading any of the books. Writing from three totally different points of view (a white woman abandoned by her husband, a black woman, and a conjoined twin) she creates believable characters with unique voices and provides some insights into human behavior along the way.

Childhood Activities and Destiny

Every Sunday I look forward to the newspaper. After reading the front page and checking the police blotter to be sure no fiends are lurking in my neighborhood, I turn to the LifeStyle section and find the comics. My local paper resized the comics recently so I don't read them all--the print is too small--but I never miss my favorites: Dilbert and Baby Blues.  Dilbert reminds me of my corporate days and the absurdity of management.  Baby Blues reminds me of the twenty years I invested in raising my children and the equal amount of absurdity that accompanies parenthood. Philosophical gems and wisdom often hide among the ridiculous antics described in both comics.

In today's comic, Wanda (the mom) is reading the week's list of activities for her young son, Hammie. Darrel, the father, dares to suggest that perhaps Hammie is overscheduled. Wanda looks at her husband, a man who goes to work everyday and doesn't fully comprehend the rigors of the stay-at-home-mom life, and sighs. Sometimes she, too, thinks Hammie is overscheduled, and then she remembers that "he likes to take things apart with power tools in his spare time." I laughed out loud at this remembering my mother's warning not to leave my nephew alone while babysitting him because he liked to take things apart. This nephew is now a graduate in Engineering Physics and in charge of building equipment for the laboratories at the University of Oregon.

The memory got me to thinking how much our early childhood behavior might be an indicator of adult interests. Maybe what we want to be when we grow up is already determined. My own son demonstrated his need for speed at a early age. He never seemed to walk but ran everywhere. He liked to find the longest highest hill to ride in his little red wagon. Today he is an instructor at the Bridgestone "Fastest Ride on Ice" winter driving school and looking for a sponsor so he can get back into the driver's seat of a race car.

As for myself, I spent my time with my nose in a book. I would rather read than do anything else. After a dozen part-time jobs and sundry careers I find myself back where I began - nose in books.... reading.... writing.... and playing with words.

What were your childhood passions? How did they influence the person you have become?  What do you do today that is similar to what you did as a child?  How is your life different?

Write a story about your childhood activities. Where were you? Who participated in your activities? Did you do them alone?

Childhood is our proving ground, the place where we test our abilities, interests and boundaries. Discovering what we liked then can inspire ideas about how to bring balance into our adult lives. Have a little fun today - let your childlike self out to play.

Life Is Always in the Details!

This past weekend was warm and bright and called me to go out into the 'back forty' to clean up last year's debris. I had cut a half acre of undergrowth to reduce the fire hazard around my log house and left it lying on the ground during the winter to dry. Now that the snow has come and gone (and come and gone and come and gone) I was able to walk the paths and drag the dead branches away to the wood chipper. I called to my husband to join me on the paths to see the proliferation of glacier lilies in the woods behind the house. The lilies are the first wildflower to appear after the snowmelt and I was stunned by their plentitude.

My husband tossed me a casual "okay, sure" and went on about his own gardening chores. On another day I might have dismissed his indifference but last Saturday I wanted to share my pleasure in finding the abundant flowers. I walked down the hillside to where he was working and grabbed him by the crook of his arm and said: "No you have to see this. This is special."

Reluctantly he followed me up the hill - and when he got to his wood chipper station he, too, was stunned by the sight of so many dainty yellow flowers sprouting from the paths. "Wow" - yes, he said "wow"! And the look on his face showed me I was right in insisting that he come to see the flowers.

Writing Prompts:

Write about a unique experience you shared with someone else.

or Write about a time when you stood up for yourself and felt rewarded.

What details do you notice about the place where you live?

Share an experience with someone you know today and write the story.

Life is enriched by details - and by sharing.

 

Just finished reading trio of books by Lori Larsens. Terrific character development; rich detail. Especially liked the story-telling style of The Girls - like reading someone's journal. Check out this book for examples of how to record the ordinary details of life - and how they turn extraordinary in the telling.

As we move into a New Year there’s a sense of anticipation. Turning the calendar page puts the old year behind us. The new page waits: unblemished, open, spacious, and available. What lies ahead?
Certainly a few commitments have already found their way onto the schedule. Work projects may be ongoing; family needs and activities take precedence. School reopens and classes proceed…but for the most part, the calendar is blank. Here is the opportunity to take charge of your time, to consider how you want to use the new days that are available to you.
Before you fill up the calendar with old habits and routines, stop and take stock of how you want the New Year to be. What opportunities are available to you now? Consider marking out some quality personal time to pursue those activities you placed on hold. Perhaps you need some more quiet time – or some more community time.
Let go of activities that no longer bring pleasure or satisfaction to your life. Claim this New Year as an opportunity to reorganize and realign your actions with your deepest desires.

Try this: What is available to me now?
This year I am open to …
What’s calling to me is…
I’m bidding farewell to …
I welcome the opportunity to…

It's the thought that counts!

 

Holiday gift giving can be a sore spot in the season of joy. In my life time I have carefully chosen gifts for my favorite people only to be surprised by their reaction. Rare is the human being who is not hurt when a gift goes unappreciated.  Other times I have felt obligated to give a gift to someone even though I don’t know them very well. What then? Do I opt for something impersonal? Or spend hours at the mall trying to figure it out? If it’s the thought that counts, then a little forethought can prevent disappointment – for both giver and receiver.

 

Here are some tips to consider that will make your holiday gift-giving a pleasing experience for everyone.

 

Consider first: What is your intention in gift giving? Is it to make the recipient happy? To show off your largesse? Or to satisfy an obligation? I’m not judging here – but I do want to encourage you to understand your intention and be honest with yourself. When you know why you are giving a gift – then the gift you give will be perfect for the receiver. If you don’t know why you are giving a gift, then how can you choose a gift that satisfies you? And yes – I did say satisfies "you”.

 

Try these writing prompts:

    Gifts are…

    I want to give gifts (this gift) because…

    What is the purpose of gifting?

    What do I expect from giving a gift.

 Now write a summary statement to capture the insight. What do you notice or feel after writing? Were you surprised by anything?

 

For example, if you discover you are expecting to be appreciated, then it’s urgent for you to be in touch with what the receiver really wants and needs. A six-year old (and even a sixteen or sixty-year old) has a hard time working with the old saw “it’s the thought that counts” when they get a pair of socks (unless it’s the pair of socks they always wanted!) Most likely they will measure how much you appreciate them by your choice of gift. Pay attention to these recipients before you shop and you’re sure to get it right.

 

Try this: 

• Write character sketches of your recipients to tap into the ideas you have about who these people are and what they like. You can also choose to give them the character sketch as the gift (especially if your journal entries are flattering). Type it up for them on very nice paper, roll it into a scroll and tie with a pretty ribbon! 

If you can’t get it right or haven’t a clue about what the person wants, again, look at your reasons for gifting. If it’s an obligation, you might write on the underlying reasons why you feel obligated.  Or you might write on detaching from the reaction to your gift. If you have no attachment to what you are giving, then it should be easy to detach from how it is received. Whatever your outcome, using your journal to understand your actions saves a lot of guilt and agonizing.

 

And what about the gifts that you receive? It’s hard to get excited when this year’s gift from Aunt Martha is an exact replica of the ugly scarf she gave you last year. In Asia, the gifting tradition is to receive all gifts unopened, to thank the giver profusely, keep smiling, and then put the gift on a table in full view of everyone. Nothing is ever opened in front of the giver. The act of giving is celebrated rather than the amount spent or the size of the gift. No one is ever disappointed; everyone ‘saves face’. Later, when all the guests are gone and the packages are opened in private, the recipient can decide whether to keep the ugly scarf – or give it to the maid.

 

Holiday traditions are often fraught with their own uncertainties but you can be sure your holiday gift-giving will be more satisfying if you plan ahead.

Journal to the SELF goes online

Hooray! Now you can participate in a Journal to the SELF workshop regardless of location or time of day. Jounal to the SELF is available online throughout the year.

The Journal to the SELF educational workshop, developed by author Kathleen ADams and based on her book by the same name, is only taught by certified instructors. The online format is accompanied by a workbook and includes the same great techniques of the in-person workshop. Participants receive a weekly lesson, then join an online group forum for instructor feedback and shared discussion with other participants.

If you've ever wanted to keep a journal but didn't know how to get started -this workshop is for you.

If you have a journal practice but it lacks zip, the JTTS workshop will teach you new techniques to spice up your writing practice.

Thousands of people who have taken the Journal to the SELF workshop all agree, journal writing is a JOY!

Course registration is open now. Visit www.mindworkscoaching.com  to find out how you can join a group.

Finding a piece of the puzzle. . .

The most significant piece of wisdom I can offer to myself and others today is to relax. We are coming into the most busy season of the year. This year I'd like to face it joyfully and with less stress. As I've said to my children over and over: Nothing in this world needs to be forced. Relax and let things fall into place naturally.

It's like making a jigsaw puzzle. If the small irregular puzzle piece in hand doesn't fit in the place we've chosen for it, pounding on it won't make it fit better. Turning the piece around and viewing it from a different angle may help us see an alternate way for the piece to fit. Or, we might discover the piece has no relevance to that particular spot and set it aside for later, when the overall picture is a little better developed. The rules that apply for jigsaw making are good rules for life.

Jigsaw puzzles are an exercise in concentration. By focusing on one piece at a time, we create a whole picture. The completed puzzle reveals a unique and pleasing image. Life can be just as simple when we look at single pieces.

 Next time you feel your life going out of control, step back and apply the rules of jigsaw puzzle-making: test the fit, adjust and try again or set the piece of work aside. Review your progress, place a new piece, and complete....but never pound. If you feel like you have to force the fit, you're working with the wrong piece of your life puzzle.

Writing prompts:  Where do you feel pushed or pounded in  your life?       What life pieces can you set aside for later?    What significant piece of wisdom do you want to remind yourself and others?    My life is a puzzle and the piece that fits me best is....    The overall picture of my life is.....   What is the puzzle I'm trying to complete?

Have fun with your life by enjoying it one piece at a time.

Overwhelmed again

This month I signed on to complete the National Novel WRiting Month challenge: 50,000 words in 30 days. I thought it would give me inspiration and motivation to write. Instead, I gave myself a big dose of pressure to perform. The words coming off the end of my pen and into the computer are banal, trivial, compostable, trite and just plain shitty! Well, Natalie Goldberg in her book WRiting Down the Bones says you have to write a lot of shitty first drafts. So far I have 10,000 words - about one-fifth of them usable. Never mind. I'm going to hold on to what my mentor Dhanya Haremboure taught me - there are no mistakes in life, only learning. So I've learned that I don't want to write to a deadline and if I'm going to complete my book I will have to do it because it's important to me. Accepting a challenge to write words gives me permission to do only that--write words. Accepting a challenge to finish my book will give me the motivation to create something of lasting importance. It's back to three morning pages for me -

Consider these writing prompts:

What challenges do you want to accept?

What motivates you to perform?

This month I want to ....

In thirty days I could....

Post your responses if you like. Let me know how writing process works in your life.

Have a happy month whatever you choose to do.